Christmas Cooking

There are a few definitely "for the girls" Christmas traditions in the Bucklew family. We find a day for Christmas pajama shopping. We all buy some kind of Christmas PJ outfit and wear them sometimes for Christmas baking and sometimes just for Christmas morning. We all go to Christy and Chris's house where the kids can enjoy Christmas in their home. All the girls wear their PJ's.

We sometimes wear them for cookie baking. It just makes cookies taste - well - more Christmasy when you have Christmas regalia on in the baking process. Over the years we have let the PJ bake “wear” fall to the more favored Christmas aprons for baking.

Christy and I, without fail have baked for 32 Christmas's together. Emma, for 8 of them and Sarah and Mindy joined in as they joined the Bucklew clan. My mother and I baked Christmas cookies – not so regularly but often enough that I remember it. She joins us too. Some years one or the other of my daughters-in-law hasn’t made it - but this year it was all of us. It was the best baking year ever!

All my girls are at home in my kitchen. We all do the kitchen dance...in a way that baffles the Bucklew male who hovers around the kitchen at the first scent of his annual delights. You see, my little galley kitchen requires that each of us can anticipate where the other is going and what that sweet darling baker needs - a hot pad, a wet rag, the salt, a measuring spoon, an egg from the frig . We fill this need and that need while we smoothly continue our task of pulling a cookie sheet out of the oven, rinsing the mixer sticks, spreading parchment paper for cooling....Of course someone is anticipating our needs too. It is a living drama of perfect Christmas harmony and merriment.

We make some tried and true recipes that are requirements to the guys – then we test this or that recipe, keeping some and throwing others out. This year we are testing names for a new favorite brought by Sarah. The girls like the name – lumps of coal. The boys – reindeer poop.

So here are a few shots from various years. This year will go down in history as one of my favorite nights. I took 60 seconds to watch the girls do the kitchen dance and it filled me with pride!

I wish I had taken a photo every year from the beginning – to watch the baking change – in years past it could include one of the boys, or an aunt, or just Christy and me. But it always happened every year – for 32 years.

2008

2008

2006


2006

2003





2002

2001
2000



1980

Father's Surgery

This has been a rough year for my father. Thanksgiving brought about a hospitalization in Cumming Georgia, that was the first incident in a series of emergencies, doctors, tests, and a second hospitalization. We were stunned to discover that our healthy 85 year old golfing, exercising father, funny, active, sharp-minded, serious enough to read a deep book about terrorism, and always present with us was so seriously ill that he needed immediate by-pass of the heart surgery.

It was also devastating to find that during the by-pass he needed not one or two but four and a valve replacement. They did it all -to a man who had his gall bladder removed in 1980 and his tonsils out in 1935. It was rough on him in the surgery. They had a hard time with the valve and restarting his heart. He is not doing tremendously well...but is fighting to stay alive. I don't know whether or not I think the surgery was miraculous or an invasion on his right to peaceful death. I guess it is only discernable after the fact and the decision will reveal itself as one or the other in the next few weeks.

My mother is so frail and her heart not good. This is a test of her ability to survive. She is a private woman – not prone to complain or share her sorrows and suffering. She wanted to stay at her home alone last night – not come to my house. I had to respect that and let her. I huess I am like her in this way because I understand that.

So the next week here will not be easy. My days are filled with prayer. My mind and heart know the intimate comfort of the Living Lord. Pray – everybody – pray! He truly is there.

But in honor of an unforgettable guy, who has been there for anyone and everyone especially when they have no one else in their lives. Here are a few photos of Mr. Funny Bob.

The Morning After

I have been conspicuously absent from blogging. My work world has been crazy and my personal life as well.

Work
I have been planning for Polk Community College’s graduation. I have planned plenty of events – including plenty of graduations….but this one is different – you see we have a college President that no one ever wants to disappoint. She is amazing, energetic, insightful in every kind of way, and sees every detail you do not. Regardless of my stellar organizational skills. (I would put stellar in quotes but I follow this blog: The Blog of Unnecessary Quotations), I must ultimately depend on others to do the tasks. I have had my most necessary employees for this event out for two months. I am training two new employees. AND it is difficult to depend on volunteers as they drop like flies the day of the event. Then you must factor in the three or four who don’t do what you carefully scripted and trained them to do.
So on Friday I picked up checks, got Board of Trustee reservations, met with the Center where graduation was held, found a garbage can, counted reserved parking places, stopped by to pay for food at Chick-fil-A, picked up a large roll of tape, met with the sound technician and sang into the mike for the initial sound check (this was a disaster as I have no pitch), swept up broken glass, put signs out to point the way, moved 22 chairs, answered 13 phone calls – hour one with 11 more to go.

Home Life
My amazing and darling little parents provided quite the family emergency. Over Thanksgiving, my father had heart failure - in the garage of my brother’s house in Cumming, Georgia on our way out the door to come home. I did what I knew of CPR. The ambulance came – he barely made it to the hospital. In short, we had to leave them in the care of my brother and most wonderful and gracious sister-in-law (okay – skip the in-law part…this is definitely my “sissy” – and forget that blog!!!) – God bless them. So there were multiple trips to Georgia amid the Graduation event. Last night ended it all with a most precious time to decorate my parents home and tree. Mom and I put ornaments up and she told me about each one.

And now – Christmas.

The morning after Graduation

Okay - the real truth of it all.


Guess who got all the sleep

I have nothing to post

It is a reflection of my exciting life. Nothing to post. I think the most interesting thing at the moment is Bill's head gear contraption thingy that he was giving by the doctor to relieve the compression on his neck.

It hangs over the door, you put water in a bag up to a pound marker (like 5-10), you put this grabber-like thing around your head which is attached to a pulley above. You sit on a chair and hang the water bag on a hook on the other side of the pulley which pulls your head up, whether you want it to or not. The head gear looks a lot like those big toy vending machines where you waste a quarter and try to grab a toy with the claws.

I would like to take a photo - but I don't dare.

I looked through the drawers this morning for my head gear contraption thingy. You hang a weight off the back of your neck and hang your head over the bed - lying on your back. It does relieve my aching neck.... He says his hasn't done that much yet.

I told him whatever happens - don't die while using it. I don't think I could explain it on a death report.

Seven Weird Things

1. I sing to myself - loudly. Now those who know me can stop laughing now. After all no one else enjoys my out of tune crooning with words from somewhere deep in my head. If I run out of songs I just make noise.

2.I don't like the way coffee tastes most of the time. I only like the way it smells. Then I hold my breath and swallow. I drink it black - like a true coffee lover. That's cause I don't want the calories of sugar or cream when I am drinking something I don't like. Even if I like it better with sugar or cream. it makes perfect sense to me.

3. I dropped my cat off on a dark road one night just to get rid of it. That's awful - I know - but at least it wasn't a dog! Two days later our neighbor brought the cat back to me. He was covered in soot from being in the neighbor’s chimney for two days. The darn thing almost found his way home. My three little kids praised the Lord that He answered their prayers. Considering the neighbors had a fire the night before – I thought the kids were probably right. So I kept it.

4. I don’t like to make the restaurant choice when we go out. Everyone thinks I do. I don’t. I can never complain if I make the choice. I would like to choose where NOT to go…which is very different than where to go. My husband always picks where I do NOT want to go. Okay – so I like to play a game about picking the restaurant when we go out to eat.

5. When I am alone I hurry hurry hurry through the house to get everything done so I can sit on the couch and say, ” I’m so bored – I have nothing to do.” Then I wander from room to room and try to work up a cry. Once in a while I am successful – but if I am not crying within – say 75 seconds – I just give up.

6. I am not fair with my kids and their spouses. I mean I cheat. I treat some better than others. Okay – I admit it. The boys get left out – I give the girls a whole lot more. I love to buy things for them – real things – little things – or just be with them. I have the world’s best daughter and two daughters-in-law that I secretly love as my own.

7. I dream I live in a truck…. Or a camper…. Or a little mobile home. I get rid of all my stuff. I have very expensive – but very few items. I am unencumbered – no job, no debts – no health problems. Maybe I move to New Zealand and leave behind about 15 years when I go… I make elaborate plans in my head about my little life. Of course – all my kids and my husband somehow are always there – especially my grandkids. Then I usually look around me and say - "Wow, I don't even remember driving here!" Scarey, huh?

Jesus People Adventure

COEUR d'ALENE, IDAHO

It's not about change. Change is linear. It's about returning - God calls us to return...that's cyclical. That’s what I heard in Idaho. I also heard that God hates self sufficiency. So now I come home with those two nuggets. There was a lot more said but that is what I have come home with.

Bill and I took an amazing trip to Coeur d’Alene Idaho. Chuck Missler is the Bible teacher and father of this ministry- Koininia House. He is as genuine as he appears to be through his teachings. He has had a profound impact and Bill’s life and mine. It reminds me of returning to the Jesus movement of the 70’s when hippie-dom and king-dom joined hands and turned around……returning to the Lord of mercies, the Lord of grace, the Lord of holiness, the Lord of miracles, the Lord of sacrifice, the Lord of judgment, the Lord of power…. Only this time we return with heart and mind.

I remember when everything in me could think of nothing but who Jesus was, what He was doing right now and how I was in the middle of it. I saw Him everywhere, in everything, with the passion of young love. My heart was smitten. This Jesus movement caused folks to go mad for Jesus. It rejected the stale absent, allegorical God of our denominations for the experience of His presence.

As we grew up, and learned lessons of maturing, the fervor eluded us. Today so many are still trying to find it under every miracle-preaching, Bible-thumping somebody who’s been “saved by the power of the Holy Spirit! – Amen? – Amen!” We simply need to return to the Lord our God – with heart and mind. We are mature now. It is time to given him not just our heart but our intellect.

So I am refreshed and ready. How great it is. Look at this beautiful place. I will have to post pictures later. .

The Lake

Chuck Missler - a true Man of God

Beautiful Sunday afternoon!

Date Night

I love date nights! Almost as much as I did when I was 30 and my hubby took me out. These date nights are definitely not with my hubby. Actually he goes – but – to be honest, we invite another couple. A couple of kids. Grandkids. Once a month. Tonight we decided to have a pizza tasting contest for supper. We bought four different kinds of pizzas and carefully laid them out on plates. Emma made score cards so we could rate them – a task she enthusiastically took on. Celeste cheese pizza is pretty awful.
We put the bed together for Andrew – Emma now has her own bed at Grandma’s. She loves the idea of it. She wanted to hang out in her own room and watch the food channel. Now we have recipes to try - they are not from the food channel as Emma concocts them being inspired by the food channel.
Sometimes we do fantastic things, sometimes ordinary things. We have gone to monster truck pulls and Lipizzaner shows, and other exciting places. The movies are always a favorite around here too….as long as it includes eating out.
Here are some photos: Life is good.

Delicioso!

11 and acting it

Pizza options

Score cards here! Pens and Pencils here!

White Chocolate Bear-Pops for the taste team.

Sarah Palin Fan

Okay so I am definitely a Sarah Palin fan. She says "ya" instead of you. She says "gonna" and she winks cause she KNOWS what we average American working persons think of political nonsense. I noticed in the garbage reading rack at the grocery store that every bad article was about Sarah Palin or John McCain. So I am now on a personal mission to find a mainstream magazine or newspaper that writes a large negative headline about Obama. "Obama, Secret Lovers Tell All.... And Their Wives Are Shocked!", "Barak came Back! His Missing Year on an Alien spaceship." or how about this one, "Barak Screams Obamanation: Macy's Day Parade Hastens Global Warming."

How about news - ABC, CBS, NBC and all their affiliates who make no apologies. No need to whisper with your hand over the mike. They out right and boldly lie, decieve and herd the American people toward the cliff of socialisim, eroding their faith in any thing that is even slightly true, right or noble. How is what they do different than Iranian TV with all its censorship and politically powered control? It is free reign censorship of integrity and truth. Grrrrrrr.

That's it. I am done. Did I say yet that I am a Sarah Palin fan?

Heart-Tuned Friends

Maybe twice in a lifetime – three times if you are lucky – somebody or somebodies come along and make an unforgettable mark in your life. Used to be, these heart-tuned friends became embroidered into your life as part of your yesterdays, today, and tomorrows; an unbroken chain of life. Like Charles Ingals and Isaiah Edwards, the stories of life always included them until the last one of you stands soberly at the gravesite of the other feeling unthreaded and bare.

Now –a-days it is less like embroidery and more like a patch. We wear the patches of our friendships like honor badges and then one day we finally put the patch away because we have others…maybe not as indelible, but at least in our todays instead of yesterdays. We don’t stay in one town, we don’t stay in one job, we don’t even stay in one church or neighborhood – so those somebodies who were the important stuff of our every spare moment, somehow drift out of sight.

Dean and Joann loved to just hang out. We ate together a lot. We spent time talking about the Lord and conjecturing His plan for our lives. I think Bill and Dean rode bikes. I still have a mint brownie and casserole recipes from JoAnn. We shared values, we dreamed about building homes next to each other, moving together to the north Wisconsin woods, hiking and vacationing together. We sacrificed for each other – we went through rough times, we cried together, we grieved together. They stood with us when our first son was born, his godparents by proxy.
I don’t know what happened that we lost touch. We moved, they moved. We moved again, they moved again. There were no emails or cell phones. Bill and I have often thought of them. They have often thought of us. We have always known if ever we found them it would be a day for rejoicing.

Jon's big day. Great photo of JoAnn. Dean?!?!?!??

So JoAnn and Dean, welcome to our tomorrows! We rejoice that your lives have been good. Glad you found me . I want to know more of you. Hope to see you in Wisconsin next time we head that way!

Bye-Bye Birdies

I loved putting up my birdie wallpaper. I even took in a piece and had the paint perfectly matched to the paper and my entire house is painted with birdie backdrop color. They are robins sitting on little nests, sparrows on tree branches. So cute.

But today I am not putting them up, I am taking them down. Not fun! Two hours it took for a portion of one small wall. Clean up took almost as much time. I distinctly remember making a decision - I now regret. Bill said, " Do you want to paint on a layer of ???? before putting up that wallpaper." In my ever impatience with doing things the right way I emphatically said no - I want to put wallpaper up right now!

Who would have thought the nomadic Bucklew hippies would actually live somewhere long enough to RE-remodel?

I did not know how valuable ???? was until today. You paint your walls with ???? THEN put up the wallpaper. Ten years later when you are ready to peel it down, it comes down in long big satisfying sheets rather than micro-specks of paper mache mess collecting at your feet and all over your clothes as you pick, and peel little tiny pieces.

But the birdies must go Bye-Bye. The paper is peeling and looks old....ten hard years of kitchen life. I have no idea what I will put up next... By the time I get the wallpaper down....we probably will be moving on.

Going Solar

Hurricane season is upon us. I spent money on preparations. When you have spent money on all other things in life, like new decorations, a change in curtains, tupperware, clothes to die for, nice car, diamond jewelry, shoes and more shoes, replacing them is not so exciting...so I think you hang on to them longer....at least longer than you would have if you were - say 20 years younger.

So you look for new thrills in the purchase arena. Unchartered untried untested oddities that
make your kids go, “HUH???!!???” I found one.

It presses lots of my buttons all at the same time. It's a solar cooker. If we ever have to go without electricity I can now cook. I can bake a cake, cook beans and rice (everyone eats beans and rice after a hurricane, ya' know). It supposedly cooks food healthier - a hot button of mine. All the enzymes stay fresh and alive. Vegetables are perfect without water or salt. I can also heat water for a sponge bath. I can boil anything dirty. It uses only the strong natural free sunshine to induce heat. It’s great for camping. Of course, I don’t camp and have no intention of ever doing so….but if someone wrangled me down and threw me in a camper, I could cook.

It is a bit of a novelty. I ordered it from India where it is just another appliance. It can get up to 375 degrees! Pretty amazing. Today it is cooking at 200. (Slightly overcast.)

Tonight my family will be the first to taste test solar cooked green beans and wild rice. But just in case it is NOT what it is supposed to be, I have the back up food in the fridge – ready to throw on the electric stove.

What’s next? Water! How do you get clean water? I wonder if you can buy a rain catcher? A portable water purifier? Maybe a portable well driller….That would be cool.

Final thought. I bet I could have made these and sold them to the wagon trains in 1869!

Hurricane Day

What to do on a hurricane day when there is no hurricane. Christy and the kids came over - ready with snacks, and games, and flashlights, and candles. They wanted to sleep in the closet. Not Christy - Andrew and Emma. That's what we do when we have a hurricane. But it never came.

It passed just close enough to wave its mighty wing across Market Square and give us the most magnificant breezy day. So we took advantage - and ate outside. See the fun we had?

Sleepless Again

Well, crude! I can't sleep again. Someday I could write a book with all my thoughts on sleepless nights. It would be a crazy novel of intrigue and activity and - well - no - it would be a comedy of forgotten tasks, late but very poignant comebacks. Well - no it would be a boring list of to-do's.

So I sit on the couch listening to the staccato intermittent snores coming from my beloved - and I am jealous.

Used to be, on nights like this, Opie, my poodle pal would be right beside me. Just a quick little "tsht tsht" would bring him to me where ever he was and he would not leave me. Ebbie, my mini schnauzer is 11 months old. She thinks "tsht tsht" means "roll over half way put your paw up and bark". Andrew, the grand - grandson told me she reminded him of the walruses at Seaworld.

She won't stay with me but loves to explore the dark because the bedroom door is open. I wonder what she is chewing on in the dining room? Hope it is NOT my 1920 tiger oak table.

I was going to write an elegant post about the perfect time of day to get to know yourself. I thought about describing the "Getting Acquainted" game you can play with yourself, or the icebreakers that help you warm up to yourself. Like your left brain asking your right brain a question "If you were an animal what would you be? - A horse! says one. That's a stupid question says the other.

There are also the activities you can do - like wiggling your toes or rocking your hips back and forth and finding the perfect snoozing position of being on your back-side and tummy all at the same time. But instead, I think I will sing you my Sleepless Song.

"tsh-tic-a-tsh-tic-a-too-too-tsh...blah blah boogity boo - how sleepy are you?"

(Just be glad I did not put up a wav) Good night all. I have things to do, places to go, and conversations to be had....then hopefully in the midst of one of those I will fall to sleep.

Family Reunion - Reinert Style

Every 5 or so years we have it. The big Reinert reunion. People come from Texas, Idaho, Washington state, Virginia, Colorado and more to St. Joseph, Missouri where Emma and Henry Reinert, German Lutheran immigrants, met and began a family. They raised 7 children and one grand-daughter - my mother. The Reinert brothers were stone masons - built some of the precious few walls still standing in old St Joe today. They had a signature way to lay cement so that it looked like a neat little roll between the stones. I remember playing on this wall and above the old green garage doors as a child. Better yet so does my mom - she played cafe and pretended to put dishes between the stone pillars! Even still more significant, my Grandmother used to tell me how she played on the stone wall above the garage. It seemed to all of us quite magnificant at the time.
We watch our kids grow up, our parents grow old and feel the sting of our grandparents departing this life. Yet we gather. We eat and - well - we sing. We sing German beer drinking songs and patriotic songs. We talk about God and who looks good and what fortunes (or misfortunes) each of our lives has held since last we gathered. We want to continue to meet - even though we are worlds apart and don't write or visit. We embrace with great joy and deep memories of childhood and camaraderie of heritage. There are a few left who actually remember Henry and Emma. There are many to come who will have the joy of belonging that they created.

My dear dear Marsha.The first cousins still living with only a few missing.

Memory Chocolates

I have this special little box. It contains my memory chocolates - very delicate ones at that. My daughter Christy made them. When Emma was a baby, she made these cute little journals with her personal little flair designing them. She then thought about all the things she would find interesting to ask her grandmother, her auntie, her mother - the kind of interesting things that bring floods of memories to old minds and fires up the emotions long put to bed. They came in a little box that looked like Christy's paper garden cut into little printed question strips of delightful-as-chocolate surprises - cut with pinking sheers of course.

It was a mother's day gift to all of us older women in Emma's life. The point was to share our memories with Emma in our journal. I decided to write in it over the years. Every now and then I remember it, and sneak it from the cupboard for a moment of memory delight. I pull out a question and answer it. I think it is much more a gift to me than Emma. I saved the left side of the page for Emma - someday, I hope she can fill it with all her memories of Grandma and say I think this is much more a gift to me than Grandma.

Farewell Senator Helms

Okay - so I am blatantly pro-life. Jesse Helms died today - God rest his soul. He was a champion and a bull dog - maybe a sheep dog - if you know what I mean. Women being led to the slaughter......

When I was a young mom - about 33 years old, I spoke at a conference in Chicago with Jesse Helms and other well known pro-life figures. I spoke many places so my memory is a bit fuzzy. Could have been other famous folks there like the once Surgeon General Dr. Koop, could have been Jean Garton, and others. But I do remember the bigger than life - no holds barred Jesse Helms. We walked down the hall together from the speakers room to the guest table among paparazzi and body guards. He was towering and my pace could not keep up without a near run. A reporter bent down and asked us to stop for a photo shot. He looked at me and said, "Got a good one of the two of you." Then Senator Helms turned and winked at me as he said to the reporter," I'll take an 8x10 glossy - always want a photo with a pretty lady."

The conference went on and we all did our speaking bit. Never will forget Jesse Helms! He is one of my heros!

Old English Rose

I am generally not too girly-girl. But there are things I like. Such as tea parties - especially with little girls, and big/little girls like my daughter and daughters-in-law.When I was 4 years old we lived in west Texas just outside Santa Ana, some dusty old cowboy town with horse railings in front of the Piggly Wiggly. Once in a while there were horses hitched up. We often stayed in the car with Dad while Mom shopped. Anyway - back to the tea party.

One sweltering summer afternoon my mom called my in from baking my mud, figs and mulberriy pie on a hot rock behind the house. She had a tea party set up in the garage with a table cloth, real china cups, some cookies and my dolls. I will never forget it.

About 12 years ago, visiting my husband's parents, I saw a beautiful teacup peaking out of the overstuffed cupboard. "Mom!" I said, "Where did you get those!" I grabbed a cup as though I were 4, delighted and in awe of such a surprise find. "Oh, Vi had so many of them in her house, she gave me that set because I was admiring it." Vi was one of those odd cousins who collected stuff - good stuff - antique stuff and had it everywhere in about 4 homes from Iowa to Wisconsin to Chicago. "Have you used the set?" I asked secretly hoping the question would encourage her to put on some tea. "Oh heavens, no." There's nothing but boys around here.

It was silent for a few minutes, we both realized we were alone because the "boys" had gone to the Hardware store. Without a word she put on the tea kettle, I grabbed two saucers and two cups, from the cupboard delighted at their delicate beauty, a couple of tea bags and sugar. We shoved the mail, the newspapers and a pair of gloves to the side to make room at the table.

We sat, poured our tea and admired the cups. She giggled and shared stories of her youth. Now my mother-in-law was a talker by anyone's standards and she talked the tea kettle cold! I saw her young and beautiful, full of dreams. I saw her in dispair with baby Timmy who died as an infant. I saw her a young mom, trying to work full time, cook, clean, keep house and be a mom without the conveniences we have today. It was a special moment for us.

We don't have much from Wisconsin and his parents who have both passed away. We live so far, it isn't practical to have much. But I have the tea set. Royal Albert Old English Rose.




Here is Betty Burke Bucklew at 17 years old. What a cutie she was!

Reflections

No one makes me feel safer than Daddy. No one comforts me like Mommy. After a long travel day home from vacation, he carries me into the house late at night and Mommy tucks me in as I sleepily groan to the pleasure of my own bed.

He takes me to my first day at college, making sure my dorm has all the necessities of life and my purse has enough cash for a week of snacks. Mommy hugs me extra long.

Daddy sends me cash because I hitchhiked somewhere and can't get home. Mommy waits on the couch and hears me sneak in as dawn is breaking because she wants me to be safe - not just to catch me.

I tell my new husband, "I don't want to do that without asking Dad." and I wonder will I ever trust my husband the way I trust my Dad? I fall on the floor of Mom's house as she gladly takes the baby, makes the supper, cleans up and let's me rest - free of responsibility for just one evening and I am glad she is my Mom!

Dad buys us steak and lobster. We devour the moment, my husband and I, as we spent a week eating peanut butter and jelly to buy gas to visit.

We share Christmas with them, so happy to pay for all the groceries ourselves and have nice gifts for them to. Really nice surprises. What a joy. They let us do it and we are glad.

We go out to eat on a random Saturday and my husband grabs the check at the restaurant and we insist on paying. We want to honor them. It is our turn we say.

We clean out the spare room and bring their bed over. We get an electric chair to make getting up easier. It's only temporary we say. And here we are. I know they are going back home in August when Dad's broken shoulder gets better, but I also know a part of me doesn't want them to go. I thought this would be hard. It's not. It is natural and I want my dad to feel safe and to comfort my mom.

Natalie

My grand neice and darling doing her first crawl

The Month of May

My blogability has been next to nothing these past few weeks. I am full of the stuff of life, like going to Andrew's piano recital, cooking out, cleaning the house for company and working. I have had some abnormal stuff though. Abnormalities are like the dust balls of life. Suddenly they are everywhere and you spend your time chasing them around the house on a windy day with the windows open trying to collect them with a broom and dustpan. They allude you!


So in picturama - here is my last few weeks.



Decorations for my parents' 60th anniversary party. Nine shopping days, 27 stores, 32 trips (some stores took two trips) and $101.32.

Still trying to plant the perfect flowers. Every pot in the yard has something dying in it. The impatiens were very cute - until Jack the terrier (or terror) chased lizards through the pots. But, in consolation, he did bring me part of the lizard - right to my pillow.






Ebbie, my darling little mini Schnauzer. She was spayed last month. This week she chewed an eyeball off a stuffed fish, threw up 14 times in one day, Memorial Day, when no vet is open, so we had the distinct pleasure of giving the Pet ER our business again. She had surgery to remove the eyeball which was stuck in her intestine. Not feeling too good - I would say. I am cooking chicken and rice for her for several days. Cooking only rice for me- after paying the bill!

Pool screen finally gave way. New screen goes up- but thankfully the day before company comes in. So much for our savings.

So therefore, blogging has not been on my mind. I do look forward to days of family - spending time with my brothers and their families. I think I will yodel.

Dietpause

My plants are full of dead buds. If I have to pinch them all off to get more flowers – well I guess I won’t have any more flowers because it is too hard to pinch just the dead flower and not the branch. So I will leave the plants “a natural”. Anyway here is the best day of the flowers in the early morning sun. Kind of cool.
Why can’t I diet? I wonder if aging affects one’s diet hormones. I mean, surely there are diet hormones. They hit women monthly. You feel fat, ugly bloated and HAVE to diet. Few ever make it past a few weeks and even fewer make it stick more than a year or two. Then there are those who have hyperdietism – those are the individuals who can diet with a passion, stay thin and fluff-buff(that is look like you work out just enough to have some attractive muscles but not like the man-woman on the Muscle Magazines.) and they even enjoy it!
I should be good at dieting. I start one every Monday. I used to pride myself in self-denial. I went to many showers and parties with incredible delectables and I haughtily said no to it all while wearing a “Jesus Loves you” smile. I looked down on all the poor women who were filling their bodies with everything sinful to eat – unable to stop themselves – but alas I am now one of them.
But I do have the comfort of the setpoint theory. All of our bodies have a setpoint where they just want to be – weightwise. It just so happens mine is higher than yours. I cannot help it, my body demands it and I just don’t have the strength to battle this body any longer. You see I have been through dietpause and all those diet hormones have succumbed to the aging process. I could go to the physician and get some dietgestrone and actually I have. But it made my heart race and made me stay up all night…so I have learned the wisdom of allowing my body to win its battle – to hit its setpoint and to let sleeping diet hormones lie. I have learned to cope. I will just start fresh every Monday morning and go until I give up – be it Thursday, Friday or Saturday. (Sunday is ALWAYS diet day off).
This being Saturday morning, I want some pancakes and bacon, and a cinnamon bun, and just a bite of Bill’s home fries and I would love a small bite of grits – cheesy grits - hmm good. But I promise to eat a nice bowl of fruit along with everything else so I don’t feel too guilty – that is until Monday.

Saturday - Not too Shabby

Okay – enough of the deep and heavy. (sounds like the new night cream regime I am following – deep peel and heavy cream)- Oh and I do look lovely! When I take it off that is. Even Bill said my skin looks greatly improved (okay – so not greatly but – improved.) Now that is saying something.

Remember my Lipizzaner stallions? Bill and I drove the grandkids to Sarasota to watch the world famous stallions practice their dressage. We were so close and were able to go through the stables and actually pet them afterwards. Emma rode a pony.

I thought two hours of horse might bore them – but both kids seemed to utterly enjoy them. Andrew thought it cool that they were once war horses – fighting battles with all their maneuvers. Emma thought they did the ballet quite well for boy horses.

Nonetheless, the day was lovely, the breeze warm,and not-yet humid, the horses close-up and the kids engaged. To keep the momentum of the day going, I even planted flowers around my birdbath this evening - looking for the perfect end to a great day. Bill, who was working on his truck, had to find my tools, carry the mulch and potting soil, tell me how and where to plant, had to rescue the bird bath which I tilted a good 30 degrees , clean up the dirt pile and the walkway. He clean up the empty plastic pots and water all when I was done. But other than that, I did the whole thing myself. Should have thought of something else to do. As I sit here tonight $35.00 of flowers are drooping and dying across a bed of mulch that somehow has more dirt in it than mulch. Claiborne, don't you laugh! that's not fair. I heard that!

Postmodernism - How did we get there?

Yesterday I taught one of those 8 hour classes at the college where I adjunct. Leadership and World View. Leadership Theory I can teach. I know that stuff but the world view part used an in-depth philosophy book taking a look at various worldviews that replace religion such as New Age, Post-modernism, and Atheism. I have never had a lick of philosophy and don’t know why the college threw it into this course because it did not fit. However after spending hours of time studying so I did not look like a total buffoon – I muddled through student presentations and explanations. The one that struck me to the core is Postmodernism.

This view is born out of a style that began in the 1980’s – a style of architecture, art, dress and other things that demonstrate a rejection of what has been historically accepted as good, beautiful, or right in that industry. It then grew to be a belief – throwing out the good with the bad of that which the previous generation taught as good, godly, right -a rejection of the Bible as infallible, of Christianity as right, and the acceptance of proven science to be infallible and the best value to believe in – that is if it strikes your inner self as good and right. For more on postmodernism read this.

What struck me is that this generation is the peer group of my kids who grew up under the parentage of the Jesus Movement in the 70’s and 80’s and all of our generation’s pendulum swinging fanaticism without foundation. We taught our kids to pray about the color of socks they should wear each day, about healing their little boo-boo and if it wasn’t healed they didn’t have enough faith, that Little House on the Prairie wasn’t a godly show – in fact- all TV was evil, that Santa Claus is dead, that if you pray and believe you too can be prosperous, and that there was no greater joy than singing worship songs for 4 hours at a time, - forget about lunch; then there was the laughter thing that God would glue you to the pew and cause you to laugh for 3 hours to bless you.

Our children of the 80’s have grown to see that the Christianity we have fluctuated in is fallible and they interpret that as an errant Word of God and that the tenants of Christianity are naïve and unreasonable. They have turned their hunger for truth away from Christianity because what we have argued as truth with them is only our fallible fanaticism that we ourselves wrestle with daily - but see – we were there – we KNOW about the sweep of the Holy Spirit in our nation – so some of us hang on to that wave and have never moved on but our kids - they were not their cognitively speaking.

So I watch this young generation taking over the control of the vote, the politics, the businesses – I watch them pick and choose things in the Bible they will value, pick and choose things in nihilism or existentialism, etc they will value, and thinking they have the answer, believing all things are relative, they are led like lambs to the slaughter while those in my generation who have stuck with God have finally decided that seeking the Word for real truth and being willing to question long-held ideas of Christianity and rid ourselves of denominational and religious dogma have opened our eyes to a new solid knowledge and logical, intellectual proof that God is true and REAL; and so is His Word. But now – the postmodern 20-30 something won’t listen – we had our chance.

God help us all.

Mein Erbe

There are those days you wish you could go back in time and be a part of something from then to now so that you could have a thousand memories of yesterday that you do not have...but only wish you had. That makes perfect sense to me, hope it does to you.

Sunday was one of those days. I took my parents to the park to take photos in authentic German regalia. They look the part - perfectly the part. I wanted to know German, remember German events, have German memories- I would like to know what '"Gott segnen das wenig eine" means.

I am erasing all the negative things I feel about Germany and the German way of life and embracing my heritage as I help my parents plan an old fashioned German party for their 60th. Just look at them. They deserve to enjoy a celebration that is all about them - their way of life, their history - what they enjoy and with whom they enjoy it.

Raindrops and Rest Stops

Rain is a wonderful excuse to do very little - except snack and nap. I love a real excuse to be lazy. Some people call it resting or relaxing, some call it chillin', some call it taking it easy ----- what else do people call it? Down time, time for myself, doing nothin', indulging myself.etc. Does it bring any images to mind?

Why do I call it being lazy? I think the phrase you use to describe the act of nothing in particular describes the kind of person you are when you particularly do something . I mean, really, think about it. How would you describe yourself? Easy going? Keeps cool, watches life go by and enjoys whatever you happen to catch in your happy-go-lucky net? Then you would probably spend a rainy Sunday afternoon chillin? True? Come on now! It's true isn't it?

If you are a never-sit-down kind of person, always seeing the spider web on the wall, the glass on the table that needs to be picked up and nothing gets your juices going more than a stressful project with many facets of "to-do's" - you spend a rain Sunday afternoon being lazy.

What about you, Miss Exercise and Health-conscious Yogurt-eating morning power-walker. You relax – don’t you? It sounds a lot like stretching or Pilates for the mind.

So readers, what do you call it? Does it fit your personality? I wonder…..

Don't see much in VISTA

Unbelievable! I won a computer. I put my name in one hat at the Registrar's covention in Orlando and I won a lovely HP Pavilion Entertainment PC - Windows VISTA edition. Got it on Friday.

Since Friday was a busy day bringing home Ebbie from being spayed and going to my Aunt and Uncle's 50th anniversary celebration for which I was the flower girl. (hmm....m...m..hmm. dates me a little!) - Well, I had no time to configure my new computer so I looked forward to this morning.

9:00 AM, I brought my little mug of coffee with me to my nice little home office. Tonight at 1:00 in the morning I have nothing but curses for the new computer. I can't get the printer installed, it isn't compatible with my Camcorder software, AND I can't find all the utilties and configurations I am used to. I hate it right now.

I finally paid Linksys for a support call to help me - and it is taking her about two hours! She is on the computer remotely right now while I sit here waiting ... Why couldn't I have won a trip to the spa!! Why a computer!

Oh but wait - what do I see? Is it talking back to me....Yeah,,,ah! Pretty Computer! It's talking back to me.....(The printer is going - and now she's singing to the tune of Pretty Woman!)

You should see this think. - plays HD dvd's - live connect to TV - four different photo softwares to manage, modify, display and create with.... Great speakers and love the graphics. Not bad for free...not bad at all!

Gotta go play - finally!

Thinking about Me

I feel self-reflective today. I cannot say with certitude who I am or what I think of myself. If I were a painter, I might do a self-portrait to study me, but being who I am I can't take time for that nor have I the talent. I am reading a friend's written thoughts poured out over years - her emotions, spirituality, and reasons now confined by words and phrases some of which I cannot make sense of for myself, some of which are profound- but are all her.

I don't want to work this week. Maybe I look old enough to retire - is that justification? Can working change the uncertainty of the future - I think not - but my reason tells me it will change how well I am fortified in the uncertainty of the future.

I don't want to diet this week. Maybe I look old enough that being sensibly unfat doesn't matter anymore. Can dieting change my aging old self? I think not - but reason tells me it will change how healthy I am in the great years to come.

I don't want to exercise this week. Maybe I look old enough that being winded after a short sprint across campus is quite normal. Can exercising really change the vigor of my step or will it just increase the limpity step-limp endued upon me by the 50's.

So, rather than write or paint, I took a photo self portrait. I won't post them all. I guess I look young enough to still work, heavy enough to diet and exercise, wrinkly enough to spend money on beauty products, plain enough to enjoy being average, unique enough to be me. Do I like me? Most of the time I like me just fine. Once in a while I think I need to slap me – but not today.

UMM-UMM I LIKE ONIONS

I cooked most of the day away. Tonight we had our home church group at our house. and we generally share a meal. I wanted to make something that was easy so what could be easier than a pot of beef stew? I went to the grocery store and there in the gourmet section of the fresh veggie aisle I saw the cutest little bag - green string mesh all natural-looking - of fresh pearl onions. Wow - they were so cute - like toys for an easy bake oven dish. I ran the frozen ones back. Well, I couldn't very well allow gourmet pearl onions to sit in a pot of plain stew with plain old potatoes and plain old carrots.

So, I came home and researched gourmet potatoes. Do you know that there are 36 kinds of potatoes and Publix sells 10 of them? Back to the store.

I purchased my Green Giant petit purple golds and the best I could do for gourmet carrots was organic crinkle cuts. A little fresh parsley and basil. I was ready to go - with nothing to stew about ...okay - so I am not good with jokes.

Two hours later - I must say I have vowed NEVER to purchases or even look at fresh pearl onions again. There were 82 in the bag. You must snip off both ends with a knife and plop them in boiling water for 30 seconds - no longer!! Then one by one you must carefully peel off the thin layer of dry skin to undercover the shiny white pearl.

That was the good part of the cooking day. However, let's skip to the end. The stew was scrumptious - with hot bread and olive oil from Carraba's. My friends raved about the delicious scents greeting them at the door and how perfect this day was for hot beef stew.

We enjoyed a beautiful dinner under the porch - drizzling rain played quietly in the background, flickers of candle light decorated the table. As we moved to the living room to have our teaching and I picked up the bowls - I discovered that most of my guests do not like onions. So I ground them down the garbage disposal. Not me - I ate every one of them!

Nothing Much

My friend tore her toe nail off. I wasn't very sympathetic. The first thing I thought was that she wouldn't be going with me to the Jazz event at Bok Tower. So maybe her company was more important than my sympathy. Never-the-less I sent her a picture of my perfectly manicured toenails. - All five of them on one foot. I guess I wasn't very sympathetic.

Ebbie, my mini schnauzer is such a cute pup. I love her sleepiness. She awkwardly jumps on the couch next to me - usually takes two attempts. She makes little baby grunting noises. THen she really loves it when big brother Buster snuggles in with her. They are so cute sleeping nose-to-nose. Look. They are so cute. They all have sweaters on because it is so cold out. Jack, our SPCA dog must have had a pampered beginning. He knew how to put a sweater on. One foot - then the other.

I want to complain about weekends. They make you do things you shouldn't. I have no problem staying on a diet during the week. But on weekends? It is torturous. It's like - well the weekends are time off from work. They don't count against you for vacation time. They are free time...so why can you just make the free from everything. If they don't count for vacations they shouldn't count for diets.

I have company this weekend. Not really company more like a life-long heart friend. It is an amazing relationship. She is my daughter-in-law's mother. Can you believe? We are very close and I love seeing her. But I hate her beautiful figure...I would never say that out loud.

All is well as I adjust to the fact that it is really 6:15 but feels like it is really 5:15 because we changed the clocks ahead and now I have to get used to it being 6:15 the way it really is,

Victims of Divorce

Victims of divorce - the phrase makes you think of the children. I want to talk about the “me” in the divorce….the “me” victim. The cause for divorce is not always 50-50 sometimes it is more like 80-20. I am talking to the “me -20 percenters”. We made our mistakes in the marriage – we openly regret them – we lived repentance for them sometimes for years in a marriage. We want restoration, we want to love and be loved. Despite our mistakes, we do one thing well. We stick to our marriage vows. We made a vow to our partner – a vow for life. We have every intention of keeping it because our devotion and love are real.

Our partner’s isn’t. They say it is when they need us, but they change their minds when a willing somebody shows up at a convenient moment. They say they need us when they need a whipping post to feel big for a moment in time. So we take the abuse – verbal, mental, physical, spiritual – every part of our Living – every part of who we are. Why? Because we want them to love us. We want our marriages to work. We don’t want to give up.

But the inevitable happens, often through bitter horror that only those who have suffered like we have understand. Then we must go on. It would be easier, had they died. Not that we wanted them to die, although there are times we might wish that! But rather we wanted the wound to close and heal. If there are children, if we live in a small town, if our family lives are intertwined in other ways, if we have other life connections - we face unexpected moments of ‘wounding” over and over.

Will I ever get over this? The classic question. Sometimes we seek professional counseling because we feel such a cutting apart of ourselves. We want the emotions to go away. Especially the deep-hearted anger. I think in the spiritual sense we should feel this deep cutting apart that wounds us so. This feeling of tearing apart and deep-hearted anger is our confidence that our marriage vows were real to us, our devotion was righteous. Let it be your confidence; not your undoing.

It does take time to heal. But you cannot build bitterness against your ex-partner. Bitterness does not punish him or her….it punishes only you. Draw a line in the virtual sand and say you no longer affect me here – this is my day of freedom from your tyranny. But don’t think I am going to tell you that anger is wrong and you should lay it down! Oh no! Your life may have continued, you may have remarried – or you may be filled with happiness and have hit that moment again where you step outside and take a big deep breath of air with your arms raised to the sun and say to yourself “Wow! I am so happy today! What a beautiful day!” without a thought of your ex-partner. BUT, when they come into view as you pass them in the grocery store, see them at church or a restaurant, hand off the children to them, find your Thanksgiving at your adult child’s house includes your ex-partner and another new lover, or even find a photo as you go through old things – that anger wells within you. Let it have its moment – not a long one but let it be your confidence. Like the man who was nearly burned alive trying to save his wife from the crash site. The pain is his confidence that he gave all he had, sacrificed his very own well being to save her. The only regret is that it wasn’t enough – not that HE didn’t do what was right or enough. Your anger is the confidence that you gave all you had, sacrificed your very own well being to save your marriage. The anger is regret that it was not enough – not that YOU didn’t do what was right or enough.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE HEALTHY WHEN……
You have a slight twinge of sorrow for them
You may have a sense of pity – even if it is ever-so-slight
You do not seethe with an overwhelming wish of harm on them
You are filled, sometimes to your surprise with a deep hearted anger but you can cut if off after a moment
You ask yourself – why can’t I get over this – is this normal?
Your reaction is kept to yourself

Remember the anger! It is your confidence! It is a your gift from God that says you are my righteous one! Rock on with God!

Hitting the Jack-Pot

I didn't mean too. Had no interest in doing it...but my daughter - she is so persuasive. But so was his tail, his pretty dark eyes and his great desire to be held in my arms. He is five years old and is some kind of terrier mix. He comes to us, after several homes - and all he wants is a mommy to devote his life to. His name is Jack.

The whole family got involved - my eldest son was ready to volunteer his time at the SPCA. My youngest son was coaching me on what to say so they would not say NO to my adoption. Bringing him home was quite natural. He fit right in. No worries from Buster or Ebbie.

But the day was about our budding artist. Miss Emma had her fancifuls displayed in colorful medium. She even had at least one autograph request. (Thank you Great Grandma!). Just so her art is fully appreciated, it is displayed here in full view. She is proud. I asked her why her art was chosen for display. She told me that you had cover most of the page with some kind of color and that is why.

We later took the kids to Parrish, Florida to ride an honest-to-goodness steam engine train. The call of the choo-choo sounded as excting as resurrected extinct creature from years gone by. The steam billowed and the coal growled under the blaze...We were off at the blazing speed of 10 miles an hour.

What a lovely day - overcast, cool and breezy. We saw falcons and buzzards, horses and birdnests. No wild boar - but just the idea that we might was enough to keep our eyes on the look out. We had a grand supper at Bob Evans and watched some animated movie about a rat who can cook. What a great day indeed. More photos below.

The caboose shot

Grampy and Andrew examing the mechanics and stuff

Emma watching the world at 10 MPH

Grandma and Emma in jail at the end of the RR line