This week has been a song of sorrows – an ongoing humming lament of condolences, memorializing, and family sounds. Thirty-seven or sixteen or some number of family have been in and out of my living room sharing with each other the shocking loss of my father. My daughter says it all so well – there is no need for me to write cathartic stories and phrases of him because hers work for me. I have kept busy.
But now life returns, as all have flown or driven home and my refrigerator is empty of leftovers. I take a deep breath, set out clothes for work, finish picking up, and I think – now I am ready to think good-bye. It is going to take some time.
My mom – she is my biggest concern. She must find a way in life that is not centered on an active, loved, dynamic man…but rather centered on her own interests, friends and activities. I hope she can find out what those are. She is strong. She will. It will take her time.
So life resumes but I will sing my sorrows in that twilight moment between rest and sleep as I recall my father’s life and his beautiful memorial. I will fancy his baritone voice belting above all others the hymns of God’s faithfulness and love. May time remove the edge of sorrow and soften our memories with smiles and sighs.
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3 comments:
You don't need my words at all. Yours are just as beautiful. I'm finding it odd to ready for life's return tomorrow, but knowing it must and knowing it's right, just as you are.
This was a very hard blog to write wasn't it? I just wrote one myself as tears stream down my face.....
Claiborne, it is indeed hard. Bless you for loving us all the way family should love each other. I do not know what I would do without you in my life.
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